That smile, her smirk
is the glue that holds her together
when the world is tearing her apart;
her spirit weakened and weathered.
It used to reach her eyes
Gave her face depth and heart
But it slowly crumbled under
her world ripping apart.
She hides behind her humor
her laughter blankets emotions unknown
But in the end it won't hide her
from the enemy of being alone.
Her laughter is slowly replaced
by shallow breaths and suppressed cries
Because she can't take much more
Of being the only one who tries.
She can't breathe, they stole her
laughter, smiles and fun
Right out from under her
While she battled in a war yet undone.
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Impossible to Touch
This is a poem about how I used to (and sometimes still do) feel about people reacting to my back and scars.
Even after all these years,
it isn't any easier
to supply a rhyme or reason
to map against their irrational fears.
I'm not a contagious disease.
They will never jump from me
onto your skin and force you
to be ill at ease.
It's part of who I have become,
the scars of the person I used to be
Once metaphorical, now physical.
Each day I fight not to succumb.
I fight to take pride in what I wear
Not shrink away from the world
when my clothes reveal
the mountainous terrain of skinned despair.
It's taken me so long to ignore the 'look,'
the constant confusion, and ignorance.
But sometimes it doesn't matter
because I'm still missing the precious esteem they took.
One day it won't matter; the valleys of scars
and the pitying stares they send my way
as I walk down the street hunched over.
It won't matter when I'm finally hiding among the stars.
I'm always told that I'm too young
to care what they think but
fighting a war within myself
while battling the outside world; leaves a hero unsung.
My pride is what holds me together,
my esteem has dripped through the cracks
consumed by the monster slithering through my soul
Forcing me to open the parts of my heart I kept tethered.
One day it will matter that I care so much
about the pain, mentally and physically;
But in the end, I'll always be that girl
That was impossible to touch.
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City Dreams
City Dreams started out because I had a verse stuck in my head...it kind of took on a life of its own and became a three part prose.
Cityscapes; late night rapes
A young child lost; full of scrapes
Urban life; a fool's escape.
Buildings loom; alleys black
Innocence lost; souls lack
Rural child under attack.
His story is common; running away
from the worse known prey of
what even the devil can't slay.
Stuck in the alleys; alone in the dark
Cringing in the corner; naked and stark.
Remembering the adventure he wished to embark.
He only wanted fun; a night on the town.
Wishing for freedom when no one else was around.
Instead he got what he paid for; alone and on the ground.
Brutally beaten, bitten and bleeding
Images flash of the night preceding
She was a succubus in need of a feeding.
She led him out of the crowded bar;
He wanted to take her; she was so bizarre.
Instead she took it just a little too far.
She whirled on his motionless skin;
Removed his clothes while she bit in.
He was paralyzed and tantalized
until she released him with a grin.
"Run away now, boy." she whispered. He heard it clear.
But his body wouldn't move; his muscles frozen in fear.
She shoved his lifeless body and he watched her disappear.
His memories faded, oh so fast.
Shaking his head; trying to make them last.
He's stuck in this hell; without a future, without a past.
His greatest wish before it all began
was to be free from work, free from reason; and so he ran.
Found by the worst of evils with a plan.
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Succubus Sins... Sequel to City Dreams
She watches him from the rooftops as he rocks to and fro.
Considering when to make her move; to rescue the innocent from below.
She enjoyed the scene of panicked distress; but now it's more than just a show.
When she bit him, she tasted more than just fresh blood and fear.
She tasted his soul; her conscience she could not hear.
Blinded by her foolishness; she released him with a sneer.
Disappearing was all she could do; for she lost herself confused.
She'd lost count how many times she'd left a man or boy in this alley; beaten and abused.
But this one was different; emotions raged in her as she brazenly refused.
This little boy; this young man that was such a simple meal.
Couldn't possibly become anything more than a bloody sample she would steal.
But something stirs deep within; she eyes him once more as he slowly begins to reveal.
He stands; the black alley wall is his support.
Glancing around for any help; a last resort.
He moves his legs painstakingly slow; his face contorts.
Suddenly he looks up; as though he can feel her.
Their eyes lock and he shows no fear; just bites back a whimper.
She stands in the winds; her hair whipping like wild fire.
He doesn't run like all the rest.
Even when she appears in front of him; his only emotion seemed impressed.
Her teeth glinted as she leered; but he simply had one thing to confess.
"I am fascinated." was all he said. Her eyes blazing fire.
Burning now with unbeknownst desire.
She removes his bruises with a brush of her small hands; all that's required.
This small interaction; the silence speaking volumes of truth.
His body hurts no longer; he's no longer a troubled youth.
He questions his memories; there's no way they could be the proof.
That this beauty that stands before him was the very same
evil that tried to take life away and burned his skin to flames.
But the difference was when he struggled to stand; she came.
She came back. She returned to his side without a word.
Though the idea that he should trust her was absurd;
The look in her eyes was enough for him to let the unexpected occur.
As they ascended upon the sky; it was a feeling a utter disbelief.
She was holding this human in her arms; after she almost drained him beyond grief.
And he watched her as he realized that this woman was nothing but a thief.
A thief of souls, hearts and men.
She has stolen what's most precious to him.
But he's not willing to fight her; unsure who would win.
The succubus is fighting to be innocent in his head.
And she's winning the war; because his conscience is hanging by a thread.
He fits within her shape as any man would like they were in bed.
But this is so much more than lust; more than animal attraction.
She knows because of the mere feeling of mutual satisfaction;
When she touches his skin to hers, even when she became his soul's distraction.
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Truth in Fear ...Sequel to Succubus Sins
This succubus of ageless generations;
and this young man of endless revelations.
Such the pair they make as they float across the sky with empty complications.
She sets them upon a cliff overlooking the seas
He's so far from the city; chilled by the breeze.
But no fear lies within; concerned at his ease.
"I will do you no more harm. Please don't fear me." she speaks
His reply, spoken in the wind, "I do not fear you; but why was I so weak?"
She steps away and turns her body towards the answers she seeks.
"I am a soul stealer. I destroy those I touch when I need it most."
"And I was just another unwilling host?"
He would never comprehend what it means to be this close.
She teeters on the edge of the cliff of hope;
while he struggles to figure out a way to force his emotions to cope.
Even through what he doesn't know; he reaches out for her hand to stroke.
They stay like this; these two beings of disproportionate sorts.
For an endless time it seems; they had no need to court.
She could touch him without stealing him; he was her last resort.
They crumble to the ground; upon this cliff of hopes and dreams;
Wrapped together where nothing is as it may seem
These two beings; of woven desire and passionate screams.
"Your name? What do they call you, boy?" she whispers in his hair.
His mumbles are lost in the rocks-but not to her as he says, "Flare."
She laughs at this joke of the gods; his confusion obvious with a glare.
"My sweet boy; my laughter is of our names in irony. I am Rain."
Flare smiles with her; his confusion subsides and frustration contained.
His words followed, "Perhaps opposites, in all ways but one."
How could this be? How can this have happened when just hours ago
She flaunted her model body scantily clad with a show.
Hunting; waiting for any guy to peak her fancy and start the flow.
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